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Unpopular Man Wins Again
A widely unpopular man has won another election in Japan with only 22.7% of eligible voters voting. “I couldn’t be bothered voting,” said 29-year-old citizen Yuki Tanahaka. The upper house election...
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Japan Developing Eternal Shinzo Abe Robot
The Japanese government is attempting to develop a Shinzo Abe cyborg it believes can rule the nation for all eternity. “He will never die – or be removed from power,” a Liberal Democratic Party (LDP)...
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Kepco CEO Makoto Yagi To Be Endlessly Detained Like Nissan’s Ghosn
Kansai Electric Power Co. Chairman Makoto Yagi will be detained for consecutive months without a clear path to freedom after allegedly receiving gifts from a former government official closely...
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Emperor Naruhito Launches Twitter Account
The recently enthroned Emperor of Japan has embraced 21st century technology and launched a new Twitter account under the handle name @EmperorNaruhit2. @EmperorNaruhito was already taken. Emperor...
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Japanese Party In Power Since 1955 (Except 4 Years) Disgusted By China’s Lack...
Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe criticized China on Wednesday for its “lack of democratic institutions” when asked about escalating violence in Hong Kong. “It’s just way too obvious,” Abe told...
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Politicians Wear Bento Boxes To Indicate When They’re “Hangry”
Japanese lawmakers are putting bento boxes on their heads to show when they are “hangry” in order to foster better relations among co-workers. Hangry politicians will wear bento boxes on their heads...
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PM Abe Blames Disabled People For Government Corruption
Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has accused mentally disabled government staff members for systematic corruption, including bribing citizens to vote for the ruling party. “There’s a legion of...
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Japanese Government Resigns After Minister Says He’ll Take Paternity Leave
In a shock announcement, Japan’s entire government has confirmed it will resign after Environment Minister Shinjiro Koizumi said he would be taking paternity leave. “We’ve taken drastic steps to block...
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Japanese Government Cancels The Truth Due To Coronavirus
Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has cancelled the truth in a failed attempt to protect the postponement of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games and the government’s reputation for the handling of the now rampant...
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Japan Declares State Of Emergency Now Olympics Has Been Postponed
Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has declared a coronavirus state of emergency now that the Olympics have been postponed. Coronavirus infections have spiked dramatically everyday since the cancelation of the...
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